Friday, February 10, 2012

do I trust...

Do I trust when Him when He says that He has the whole thing under control...
That He loves my children more than I do and knows whats best for them,
or that He is helping my husband become who he was always meant to be from the inside out so I don't need to be in control of every situation.... that when everything feels like it's spinning out of control that I truly can grab for dear life to the One that created me..... unique and individual and only one of me.

Do I truly believe it when I tell everyone that He can do anything.....that I trust whatever He has in store for me is better than anything I could ever aspire to dream?  
He is slowly teaching me that I can trust Him and the only way to find true rest is in Him.  
There's nothing that comes even close, even though I try to find other ways to rest, it's empty.... never fills the hole that I need to fill up so I can love others the way He says we all can. 

You can't love others if you don't have a well to draw from....if you let the well run dry then you start spitting dust and muck and then you're in trouble.  Let Him fill you up, Trust that He knows you best, knows exactly what you need, and can truly provide that for you if you only ask and are willing....

I'm writing along with the Gypsy Mama over at her place for Five Minute Fridays, won't you come check it out and perhaps even join us?

We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery.
On Fridays we just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Sunday, January 29, 2012


I woke feeling that artistic pull mixed with the urge to delve into things I haven't made time for much lately...  it doesn't quite mesh well with the needs of my kiddo's and what we have planned for the day though.  I know God made me just the way I am with the pull towards playing in clay and painting and creating and wandering, but sometimes it's hard to not be selfish. 

My melancholy mood today tends toward the selfish while God asks me to find ways to nourish that part while caring for the blessings he's given me in my children and my husband. 

To be patient and wait for him, to know that He knows the yearning of my heart and soul and knows what is best.  To rest in Him.

That maybe what I need isn't to hole up somewhere and indulge my feeling of wanting to be alone as it may leave me hungry and empty still.  Maybe I need to bring out the messy stuff and create alongside my kiddos, or sing and the top of my lungs in the car driving to Him that created me.  Perhaps it's moving and talking with other people, getting to know them on a more personal basis, admiring the work He did in creating them and all their nuances. 

Taking a moment to slow down and truly appreciate what someone is saying to me instead of thinking about what I could be doing if I just had some "me" time. 

We made it to church this morning, late, but still.  One of the points was that "me" time is over-rated...your soul and mind are fed more by doing something for someone else, reaching outside of your comfort zone to touch someone's life, sacrificing for someone that you may not even know, taking the focus off of yourself.  I have to agree. 

There is a time and place for quiet communion, for enjoying the gifts He has given you, but you must dig deep to see what the motivation is.....