Wonderings

I woke feeling that artistic pull mixed with the urge to delve into things I haven't made time for much lately...  it doesn't quite mesh well with the needs of my kiddo's and what we have planned for the day though.  I know God made me just the way I am with the pull towards playing in clay and painting and creating and wandering, but sometimes it's hard to not be selfish. 

My melancholy mood today tends toward the selfish while God asks me to find ways to nourish that part while caring for the blessings he's given me in my children and my husband. 

To be patient and wait for him, to know that He knows the yearning of my heart and soul and knows what is best.  To rest in Him.

That maybe what I need isn't to hole up somewhere and indulge my feeling of wanting to be alone as it may leave me hungry and empty still.  Maybe I need to bring out the messy stuff and create alongside my kiddos, or sing and the top of my lungs in the car driving to Him that created me.  Perhaps it's moving and talking with other people, getting to know them on a more personal basis, admiring the work He did in creating them and all their nuances. 

Taking a moment to slow down and truly appreciate what someone is saying to me instead of thinking about what I could be doing if I just had some "me" time. 

We made it to church this morning, late, but still.  One of the points was that "me" time is over-rated...your soul and mind are fed more by doing something for someone else, reaching outside of your comfort zone to touch someone's life, sacrificing for someone that you may not even know, taking the focus off of yourself.  I have to agree. 

There is a time and place for quiet communion, for enjoying the gifts He has given you, but you must dig deep to see what the motivation is.....