Season for Change

I feel like the tides are changing, that maybe God's working to mold me into who he wants me to be, even if it's just a small piece that's being reworked.  Like years of work towards one small goal might be coming to pass.....and man, it's not much fun.  I feel like he's finally "killed the lizard" (from C.S. Lewis' book The Great Divorce) of my bargain-spending-money issue, although I know it may take quite a bit longer before I don't have relapses and twinges to spend when I don't need too.  I feel like I finally (after my whole life) have the control (only through God's grace and help) to keep myself away from and say no to myself in this area.

Now, I feel like we've moved on to some key spiritual identity issues.  I've always struggled with putting my husband in God's place, which we all know no man could ever measure up to those standards, right?  So, I've asked God continuously to help me not do that, and to focus on Him instead of trying to control my hubby and what he does so I can feel "okay".  Do you know what happens when you pray for something like that, or like patience, really any of those sorts of "virtues"?  God gives you ample opportunity to lean on him and "learn" the very thing you've asked for.  So, I feel like He has been trying to help me in this area for a very long time, and I am really wishing I could "get" it, so I could be done struggling with this.

What do you feel like God's trying to help you with lately?

A sort of Epiphany

So, I think I've finally come to the point where I've realized I really do need to make some sort of cleaning schedule, much to my chagrin.  This is coming from someone who is a "messy", so I feel like I'm making some sort of headway.....never mind it's taken me 8 years to get to this point.  How long it has taken for me to reach this point doesn't truly matter, does it?  Anyway, I'm in the middle of a true upheaval in the way I'm trying to do things around the house, as well as with our "budget" which currently is non-existent.  I'm so hoping that I will be able to get my husband on board, as well as being self-disciplined enough to at least get to the part where we've figured what we've been spending and can make a "spending" plan. For now, I'll be happy with the fact that I've got to the place again where I'm not having a desire to be out all the time and always finding some way to spend something, justified or not.  This is truly an accomplishment, and something I would've never been able to do without God's help.  Shopping is my "thing", finding a bargain is even better.  I've been struggling with this for a very long time, and God is slowly helping me through it, so I can be satisfied in every sense with what I have, and what he has for me, which is a truly awesome thing in my book.  I do have to say that my husband thinks it's an awesome thing too, in a funny sort of way.  So, we'll just have to wait and see how everything pans out.....and whether I can trust God and know that he has something way better for me than anything I could buy.

A Most Interesting Day

I’m pondering how many other mom’s have done what I did at lunch today. I picked up my 4 and 2 year-olds from preschool, and decided we’d make a run through the drive through at steak n shake. I asked my 4 year old son what he wanted, and he asked if we could go in, as that’s a big treat for them, and his birthday is tomorrow…..I had to feed our 9 month old, so I thought sure, why not. So, we parked and in we went. Lunch itself went pretty well. It was the paying at the register that was a little rocky…..I handed the cashier my card, and she swiped…..and it was declined. Ugh, I had totally forgotten our ordeal last week that involved someone out in Cali using our card number to the tune of 150 dollars, and therefore we put a stop on our card. I’ve been really good at remembering this fact, until today at the restaurant when it was just me and three kids, and only 10 dollars in my purse. So, embarrassed, I ask if I can run to the bank, and bring her the other 5 dollars. She thinks for a moment and whispers “okay”. Off we race to the bank, and back……20 minutes go by, and when I rush back in to the restaurant, there’s another woman at the register, and she can’t find my check in the computer. I think shift change was going on, although at 1:00 in the afternoon would be a strange time for that, who am I to say. So, she says she can’t find it, but I hand her the money anyways. What a day……and I still have to go to the store for birthday salad items, as my boy wants salad with chicken on it for birthday dinner tomorrow….who woulda thunk it. We also have to go shopping for a pattern and material for Halloween costumes, and after I get them to bed some wrapping of birthday surprises must be done. I need some liquid energy I think…..