Saturday, January 30, 2010

Season for Change

I feel like the tides are changing, that maybe God's working to mold me into who he wants me to be, even if it's just a small piece that's being reworked.  Like years of work towards one small goal might be coming to pass.....and man, it's not much fun.  I feel like he's finally "killed the lizard" (from C.S. Lewis' book The Great Divorce) of my bargain-spending-money issue, although I know it may take quite a bit longer before I don't have relapses and twinges to spend when I don't need too.  I feel like I finally (after my whole life) have the control (only through God's grace and help) to keep myself away from and say no to myself in this area.

Now, I feel like we've moved on to some key spiritual identity issues.  I've always struggled with putting my husband in God's place, which we all know no man could ever measure up to those standards, right?  So, I've asked God continuously to help me not do that, and to focus on Him instead of trying to control my hubby and what he does so I can feel "okay".  Do you know what happens when you pray for something like that, or like patience, really any of those sorts of "virtues"?  God gives you ample opportunity to lean on him and "learn" the very thing you've asked for.  So, I feel like He has been trying to help me in this area for a very long time, and I am really wishing I could "get" it, so I could be done struggling with this.

What do you feel like God's trying to help you with lately?

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