Messy

So, the kids are home today from school for "teacher work day", and the Hubs is at work and I've done it again.  I've really been struggling this week with the yuck of depression, and Satan seems to be on me like some sort of slime....or well at least sitting on my shoulder whispering nonsense in my ear, because once you're a child of God you can't be of two masters, so S has lost the ability to get any farther.  But, sitting on my shoulder does more good sometimes than one would think, especially if you're already down in the dumps.  The last few days, I find I'm having a real struggle in my marriage with giving my husband words of encouragement,  instead of words that tear him down in some way.  Words that give him respect, instead of words that grate on his nerves or accuse and irritate him.  Even when I try to do things the right way, they get all twisted and mooshed and come out completely the opposite of what I intended.

I guess I'm remembering that you can't "muster" up any of the fruits of the spirit, you can only give what you have, and therefore making me realize maybe I've been not so great at feeding my spirit lately..... cause heaven knows what I've been giving out isn't hope, peace, patience, kindness ect..well, at least not as much as I'd like.....  But, I'm so grateful that God gives us all the time we need and that he's always there when we're ready to get back on track, and after almost seven years of marriage my hubs and I know this is just a rocky blip in the road.  Now, I'm not saying if you're having depression issues there might not be a medical need there, but I'm on some meds and I know that my current issue mostly has to do with the fact I'm just walking a little off the path, and that the big G can meet me where I am and help me get back on track.  I'm so glad that we have a Father that cares for us so, and will always be there, no matter what the screw up, ready to help and welcome us back......kinda like the prodigal son I guess.

This post is linked to Friday Fails at My Blessed Life.